ABOUT
If you have found your way here, you are most likely a women with a sensitive and spiritual heart, longing and looking for a different way of living than the one you have been taught to strive towards through the masculine oriented ways and conditioning. A way of living that allows you to reconnect with your deeper essence, wisdom and authentic voice so you can live, express and create in ways that fulfills and nurtures, not depletes, your heart, femininity, joy and essence.
I find that when women tend to lean more towards the masculine ways of living, doing, being, relating, working and expressing, they often learn to over-ride or reject their own hearts and true essence in order to live up to external expectations. Through the masculine based ways which is the predominant force in our culture where we push, chase, strive and force the things we want like relationships, jobs, prosperity, love, money and family (and where we equal value with effort) - it tends to diminish and overlook some core aspects of the feminine design like a woman's natural and inherent value, ability to nurture, to be soft, tender, gentle, sensitive and more emotional, sometimes even spiritual.
These are core expressions of the feminine essence but that in a world that is so masculine and harshly driven has come to be believed is a sign of weakness, that living a life that is slow, soft en gentle and doesn't requires us to constantly optimize ourselves and strive is naive or unrealistic.
Even if there is a shared belief that being feminine, sensitive and soft at heart is weak, it isn't until a woman begins to align with these parts of herself and embody her essence that she strengthens, not weakens and through this she become truly radiant and magnetizing without effort, allowing her to attract and receive exactly what is meant for her with ease (instead of forcefully chase).
All the perceived problems in a woman's life cannot be dealt with or resolved (in my opinion), without her first reconnecting with her deeper worth and heart as a woman of integrity.
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To keep up with the fast pace and external expectations, it often requires a woman to harden her heart and build protective shields, many times forcing her into a version of herself that is not who she is at heart but the version that the external world is expecting, approving and admiring + a version she believes she must be in order to survive or "get ahead" in life.
Because of this, many women experience a subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) feeling of not being good enough no matter what they do and sometimes they even come to believe that something is wrong with them and needs fixing.
But even when this is a shared reality many women have, I find that most women simultaneously struggle to follow their own unique path and heart + find a solution to their experienced unhappiness. But it isn't really about finding a solution, fixing, solving or figure anything out (as I have come to understand), but more so about becoming aware about just how exhausting and unnatural it is to keep living in a way that constantly requires you to use up all your energy, optimize yourself, be available, please the needs of others, hustle, work hard and force - and by becoming aware we can begin to gently observe and soften into the parts of ourselves that holds this harshness and that keeps us from being connected with our intrinsic deeper value and heart.
I don't believe it is about becoming the best version of yourself or strive yet towards another version of yourself, it is about reconnecting and coming back to who you already are at heart but that somewhere along the line of life becomes forgotten through all the external noice and pressures.
The harsh parts of ourselves have been created as a conditioning or programming through the unnatural and masculine based climate of our environment, it is not who we truly are deep down at heart.
It is worth mentioning that the masculine energies are not bad per say, but when they over-ride or diminish who women are at heart like their feminine attributes, qualities and gifts it becomes destructive and this I believe has become a core error and reason to why many women suffer and feel like they always need to prove themselves and at the same time are never good enough (often felt in silence in their own internal world).
What women need the most as I see it, is to restore and cultivate trust, faith and softness in their own organic being, design, path and uniqueness in order to peal of their harsh and distorted conditioning/programming. This is the art of feminine healing and softening, one that doesn't hold a straight linear path to achievement, but one that is rather felt, experienced and expressed in it's unique way and organic timing.
It is an unraveling back to our essence, back to our truth and where instead of chasing and striving, we begin to attract and receive.
What I have also come to witness is that feminine healing is not something that one simply decides to do, it is often something that is spontaneously and naturally sparked from deep within, like a voice of wisdom and knowing that we perhaps are able to ignore for some time, but sooner or later this deep urning and longing becomes to big to continue over-looking!
This is where our vision for CANDLES by DE ROSCHE came from, to create an online space and source of inspiration for women to begin softening back into their hearts and essence as feminine beings and release the conditioned (harsh) masculine ways of always striving and chasing.
Slowing down and creating moments of stillness is where we allow space for our process of softening to evolve, it is where we shift our focus away from the external and into our internal world realizing that there is a deeper octave to life that holds the key to true fulfillment, prosperity, health, joy and happiness that cannot be measured with external achievements.
About the founder
I introduced myself to healing, spirituality and holistic living for the first time around 2018 when I had hit my rock bottom. I had found myself in a place where the way I was living and the way I was relating to and treating myself was no longer an option. To put it in short, I was completely lost in the masculine based programmings and expectations of the world where I would push myself far beyond what my heart and body could take, especially in work.
This would show up as daily anxiety, self-doubt, being excessively self-critical, over-working, over-giving and where it also turned me into a typical people pleaser who did not know how to tend to her true needs and who had lost her sense of own self worth.
I consciously made the choice to explore the self healing community where I found a sense of broader openness, acceptance and understanding towards being an emotional, spiritual and sensitive person at heart than I would from the more traditional approaches to therapy that (in my opinion) rarely touches upon the deeper and more intangible aspects of our perceived internal reality or fully understand what it means to be a highly sensitive being in this world.
After years of diving into self healing, creating different practices, reading endless of books and "doing the inner work", I somehow still felt like I was striving and trying to prove my worth, I still didn't feel valuable and worthy just by myself no matter how much inner work I was doing. I later came to understand that it was because I was working on myself from a masculine based perspective where I thought I had to improve myself or "fix" myself into self-belief, I thought something was wrong with me. I understood that I wasn't actually working with myself, I was working (subconsciously) against myself through the lens of masculine expressions around healing (where I believed I needed fixing, to figure myself out and strive towards yet another version of myself, the "healed" and awakened version").
This is the fundamental difference between common healing approaches today and the art of feminine healing. Feminine healing and the art of softening is a process that reconnects with who you already are and that understands the true needs of a feminine soul, through this understanding there is an honoring and acknowledgement that things don't need to be a certain way, a woman's uniqueness needs to unfold, be nurtured and cherished in it's own organic and divine timing, it cannot be forced or compounded into something that it is not.
This was a core shift for me.
In 2022, I educated myself as a Soul Manifestation Coach and opened up my own practice where mainly women with similar sensitivities would seek out my guidance. This is where I understood how common these experiences are amongst women, not just in my own personal journey and that finally led me to creating CANDLES by DE ROSCHE.
As a family of soon to be five members (expecting our third little boy in June 2025), we found our dream home last summer out on the country side north of Stockholm. It has been our life long dream to live in a house, surrounded by nature with open spaces and where we can move freely and connect with the slower rhythms of nature.